I am happy. That I know. I drive down the road and smile to myself all of the time, feeling pure excitement for my day. I really do love living. I know not everyone feels like this… but I believe everyone CAN feel like this. The saying feeling high on life is definitely real and its amazing. If you’re reading this, I hope you’re loving living. If you don’t feel this way, I truly hope you do soon.
For a long time now I have wondered how different my mind may be from most people, or maybe they have felt this way too but no-one opens up enough to talk about it. This world is a crazy place. There is horror, love, excitement, sadness, pain, happiness, grief, anger, laughter, heartbreak, death, compassion and so many other things all mixed together. Everyone has felt all of these, some much more than others. What I am trying to keep in mind is that not any two humans have felt them in the same way. Everyone has a story, and everyone has struggled in some way. The only person who will ever fully understand it is themselves. This is why I believe self growth and putting effort into your mindset is very important. At the end of the day, all you have is your body, mind, and soul.
I wonder often about the universe and this life and the path society has labeled successful. With a mother who was a teacher her whole life I always got good grades and made sure I did well in school. I understand how school and degrees can open doors for you, not close them. This is why I always tried hard, I want every opportunity I can get, I want options. I also don’t like being bad at anything I do.
My entire life I have felt a pull away from this path. The feeling I have is hard to put into words, but I feel like there is something out there I need to pursue. Something that really makes me feel alive and feeds my soul. Not this path everyone thinks they have to follow. Not grad school and more money spent on classes. I can’t pin point it but I know it involves learning, figuring out my perceptions on life, and understanding who I really am inside and what I am capable of. I want to have more understanding of my own soul.
I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that I need to graduate, find a job, get married, and have kids. That those are the steps everyone seems to try to follow, in that order even. That if I work towards those things, I have done something right. There is so much more out there to learn and discover it can be overwhelming. In my mind, this path is boring, and not creative or unique. People have so much more inside of them they never unravel or discover.
I get nervous I don’t have enough time in this life to learn and see everything that this Earth has to offer. Most people seem to just pick a spot to stay forever. They usually decide based on factors like taxes, and how expensive houses are there. I hate this way of thinking. I want to spend my time in an amazing place that brings me opportunities for adventure and nature. I don’t want money to be a reason to not go somewhere i’d love. If I don’t have a lot of money, It is still possible to go anywhere. This is where learning comes in. Learn how to save, budget, live off of little, or make more money. I want to travel and explore everywhere I can and learn about the place I am living in at the time. I want to meet many people and have genuine conversations. I want to hear their stories because maybe I can learn and grow from them and vise versa. I want to make a strangers day because It feels good. And I know down the road if I am kind and genuine to everyone, someone will be the same to me… maybe when I need it the most.
Our level of consciousness is only our own, not comparable to others. This is one thing I am extremely fascinated about. When you meet someone, you have no idea what their level of consciousness is or how they perceive every moment of their lives. The same thing could happen to them that happens to me, but the feelings or reactions we each have can be vastly different. All I am learning is that I can work on the way I perceive every moment of my life and can ultimately be responsible for my own happiness and “success”. I can learn to control my reactions for any circumstance.
I am exhausted of people asking what I want to do for work after this summer. Like I am supposed to have decided on the career I want for forever and ever amen. I am doing what I am doing RIGHT NOW. This is where I am and this is where I am putting my energy and effort. I have goals in mind, but I do not have a plan for my life long career. Why do we need a life long career? I want life long happy, life long adventure, lifelong learning, and lifelong growth. I don’t think staying stagnant and getting so consumed by the same routine day in and day out will bring me any of those things. Create your own path in this life and don’t let human constructs make you feel like you have to follow something you’re not passionate about. We are all going to die one day, die doing what you want to and what makes you love life.
I am Lauren Jackson, and these are my thoughts. Thanks for reading:)
If you want to share any of your thoughts and feelings about your perspective on life please comment I would absolutely love to hear them!